i'm so bored.
i hate it when my roommates aren't home and i don't have to work. it's so boring. all my cds feel old, but every once in a while i can scratch out a desire to hear something i haven't heard in, i dunno, a week. i recently brought back my "big wreck" cd from senior year in high school. man, was that crazy. it even sounds like 1997. there's one song on it that i remember listening to when i was so sad. it's strange to listen to it now and all of a sudden i'm lying on my back in my old bedroom. mom is making dinner, dad's in a bad mood finishing up work in the basement, scott's guitar is too loud again, and jeff is watching tv or playing video games.so much has changed. when i was home for christmas i had the house to myself all weekend. i just wandered around upstairs and looked at all of our old rooms. jeff's is my dad's office now, scott's is a guest room, and my dad's is my dad's room, it's not my parents' room anymore. my room is the only one left with any furniture in it resembling a bedroom. and even then it's all empty shelves and boxes of things i never moved with me. i don't like change very much. i'm excited about the future, it's nice not knowing what is going to happen to you and it makes me eager to live, but i don't like it when i see what a mess the past has become.
mostly i just wish i could roll out of bed and go hang out with my brothers whenever i wanted again. and have my whole family in one room laughing. i don't understand how this all happened.
kate
posted by kate @ 2:31 PM
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