doomed: the diary of an hourly partner

the new me.

looks like i've outgrown blogger. i'm not sure if it's temproary or what, but right now i'm stretching my legs over at xanga. i'd love to see you there.

posted by kate @ 8:18 AM 0 comments

change is... good?

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i don't blog so much anymore. i recently had a conversation with josh, and he had recently stumbled over a funny IM conversation we had almost 2 years ago. he mentioned how he was sad i didn't blog anymore.

i feel as though i've lost it, i said.

it? he asked.

i'm uninspired.

i don't know how many of you have been reading this, and i don't know for how long, but i always had the intention of one day erasing this entire blog. as in deleting in from the internet. i'm not quite at that point yet, but i can feel it coming. for now, i'm shopping for new addresses, and possibly new hosts.

sit tight, a whole new kate emerged these past 6 months, and it's time for her to come out.

posted by kate @ 11:33 AM 2 comments

my salsa brings all the boys to the yard.

i make the best salsa, apparently. it's really easy, but i'm not gonna tell anyone how to make it. figure it out for yourselves!

or just ask me and i'll tell you.

i got back very, very early this morning from chicago and the film festival. i had such a great time. i love hanging out with kris so much. we are way better friends now that i'm not sad and broke and crappy all the time. it really does wonders for a friendship, being happy, that is. but i still miss her a whole lot. she's my bff!!

but i am sad, though. i really get homesick for my friends when i leave them, and also it seems like this may be it for KOTM. (check out the links!) i loved being a part of the film and i loved doing q&a's even more. who knows, it may be my last shot, period.

i feel different than i have in a long time. more different even after i left chicago and came here. something has changed since last time. something feels different.

posted by kate @ 4:26 PM 3 comments

just forget it.

earlier in the summer, i broke up with my boyfriend.

or maybe he broke up with me. i don't know. all i know is after a couple months, i was ready to get back together. he informed me it probably wouldn't happen. just as well. moving to chicago doesn't seem to be in the cards anymore.

so i try to hang on to the idea that maybe one day he'll realize what he's done and we'll get back together. not so much. eventually, i told him i wasn't going to call him anymore. i actually told him that, instead of just telling myself.

and poof. it's scary to me how instantly i stopped wanting to call him. i stopped missing him. i stopped wishing he would call me. i just stopped. like that.

maybe it's maturity. maybe it's that i've been in this situation before. maybe it's that i'm so fucked up when it comes to love that being without it just fits better. i don't know.

all i know is that, poof, it was gone.

posted by kate @ 2:06 PM 4 comments

don't get sick, wash up quick!

ah, scrubby bear. scrubby bear is a real friend. scrubby bear is someone i'm going to get sick of very quickly.

i've started my new job as an americorps member for the red cross. i get to work with a small group of high school kids helping them do community service, but the brunt of my job is presentations. much like my job over the summer for the red cross, i give disaster safety presentations, but now i also give health and safety presentations too. enter scrubby bear. scrubby bear is the presentation you give to little kids to help them learn how to wash their hands. ...that's it. just washing their hands. it's fun, for now, but on average i'll be giving like 20 of those a week. maybe less. but guys, it's washing your hands. it's easy, but man it's gonna get old.

posted by kate @ 9:44 AM 3 comments

yikes.

so this hurricane, huh? crazy. starting just before labor day, the office has been crazy. absolutely crazy. we've opened over 100 family cases in the last 13 days. all of these people have come up from louisianna and mississippi, staying with family and friends and trying to get their life back in order. and these are the people that are staying with people they know, we haven't even gotten the people they are shipping out to stay in the shelter at lambert airport.

it's nice to know that i can help in some other way instead of just donating money. donating money is a great thing to do, don't get me wrong, but it feels even better to get in and talk to the people and hand them a credit card with $695 on it to get food and clothing. well, it feels nice when they don't try and spend that tax exempt money trying to buy new playstation games at the mall.

posted by kate @ 12:18 PM 1 comments

there's nothing that will make you lose your faith in humankind than helping people with their utility bills. for two weeks i've been volunteering at the red cross because their warm neighbor funding has started. people come up with all kinds of lies trying to get the help saying that they weren't informed that they needed such and such a document before we could help them. the reason this is a lie? because we've been answering our phones which are ringing off the hook, for the past three weeks explaining to a million of people a day what they need to bring in. then, when you pay $100 of their $300 electric bill, they aren't satisfied: they thought we were paying all of it.

i have a habit of trusting people. i like to believe what they are saying and i like to try and help them however i can. some people in this office make me cringe the way they are so blunt and direct and unapologizing on the phone, but i've come to realize that it's just the way you have to be. yes, some people are telling the truth, but, honestly, most of the aren't. i've found myself taking responsibility for the fact that they can't pay their bill. but it's their fault. you have to take responsiblity for your bills, goodness knows i've been there.

it's sad that i have to start be harder on these people. not yelling and being totally rude to them, but harder in a sense that i can't take their bullshit. it's sad that most of them are full of bullshit.

posted by kate @ 9:31 AM 3 comments