days off.
another perk of being a temp is that i can still have my random tuesday afternoon off. well, today is friday, but you know what i mean. my assignment ended on wednesday, so i have a long weekend.
i love being out on a weekday and knowing the majority of people around me are at work. i love knowing that i can sit still, and they can't. they have to get back. they have phone calls. they have deadlines. i have to sit here and watch them and get on the bus and continue to watch the world go by. i love riding the bus. i love it.
you know those commercials or music videos where everything is in fast motion and blurry but the main character is in focus and not moving? yeah, that's my favorite.
work? type? ...care?
basically, you just stop caring. all my life i've tried my best, without really knowing i was. but now... where has the hard work ethic
gone? why do i work these jobs now, jobs i've done before in some shape or form, not caring about them, as before, but not working hard at them like i used to?
because i don't fucking
care, that's why. because i
have been doing this forever and i know what i can or can't get away with. i used to wonder, when i was younger, how my peers would act then the way i do now in terms of homework or after-school jobs, and the answer is simple: because they had it figured out before me.
cubicle chic
for the first 3 or so hours of starting this job, i was intimidated. this was the 24th floor, this was a
business and i was working on an
account, there were cubicles and people dressed in business casual. i was nervous and i didn't know what i was doing. until i noticed something.
one woman had a picture hanging onher shelf. it was a dark background, and the people in it looked like they had been out in the sun all day. they all had huge smiles on their faces, some were holding plastic cups, and hardly any of them were looking at the camera. then i realized something: this girl was a person.
then i noticed it all over the place. every cubicle had pictures taped up. one girl had an "i heart texas" bumper sticker. tennis shoes were lying underneath some of the desks. my supervisor even has a little plant right next to her computer.
so now, whenever i walk through the office, i look into cubicles. one girl is always on
myspace, some people are checking their personal emails. it's funny to me. these are just people shut up in a big space stuck looking at a computer for 35 hours out of their week. but they are all people with friends and lives outside of work. they don't disappear as soon as 5 o'clock rolls around.
it was refreshing.
24th floor
this week i experienced my first office party. a cake was ordered, happy birthday was sung, and a handful of girls stood around talking about the weekend and eating cake that tasted like a ho-ho. i didn't chime in, i didn't try and make friends, i just stood and ate my cake.
this office work is bizarre. events like the cake incident and quirky days to look forward to (popcorn wednesday, jeans friday) actually exist. to me, it was all some sitcom situation, some movie exagerration.
but these people actually sit around in cubicles all day. i read a profile on a woman who has worked for the company for 26 years. i didn't know people did that anymore. it's hard seeing all of these people, mostly women, with their backs turned from the huge picture windows, their faces aimed at a flickering neon screen. when i go down to accounting on the 22nd floor, it's the same thing only, if it's possible, with more cubicles.
i don't mind the work, it's easy enough once you get the hang of it. i just can't imagine anyone caring about any of this. my mind doesn't work in numbers and accounts. i don't even know what i do, i don't know what i'm talking about when i have to call customers asking if they use BAAN or warehouse BOSS. what are they customers of? what am i talking about?
thank goodness it's jeans friday.
temporary
temp work is pretty much the greatest job ever. well, technically. you work a shitty, repetitive job typing something or calling people, and you hate it, but you don't hate it because you know you will be gone in 2 weeks. or days. then, on your last day, you are just done and you don't have to worry about it and you get that added "oh man it's my last day at this dumb job" feeling. plus, you don't have to go around introducing yourself to people. if someone does try to introduce themself, you can just be like, "oh i'm kate, i'm a temp." so then it's out in the open and you both know you don't have to waste your time trying to be "work buddies." you just do your shit, and leave.
i don't think anyone reads this anymore.
back to it.
tucker is back, so it means i'm waking up earlier again. while he was gone and i was unemployed, i was sleeping in until like 10. for those that know me, that's a big deal. but at least tucker doesn't wake me up by whining and pushing his face in mine while i'm sleeping. he's very mature now. he's a year old.
my wonderwall
once, when i was in high school, i had this boyfriend. we were freshman, and that song by oasis, "wonderwall," had just come out. i really liked the song, i still do, and it made me think of my boyfriend everytime i listened to it. one afternoon we were talking on the phone and the song came on, so i mentioned how much i liked it, but i didn't tell him it made me think of him. he said he thought it was a terrible song and that oasis sucked.
chicago
dear chicago,
i really do love you, you know. it's just, sometimes, you get really cold. and cloudy. you're cloudy most of the time. but i tell you what chicago, when you get sunny and beautiful outside, i love you more than a lot of things. you could still be cold and windy, but as long as you're sunny, i will be in love with you forever.
i have to decide whether or not i should stay with you for these next year or two chicago, because honestly, sometimes when you're so cloudy and cold, i want to kill myself. that's not a healthy relationship, chicago. we have to work together if we're going to make this work. so i'll tell you what, if you start being a little bit nicer to me and start considering my feelings, i'll think long and hard about my feelings for you.
yours truly,
kate
p.s. we also need to discuss your relationships with other women.
