to tide you over...
hello and goodbye.
i'm leaving for a whole week!! i'll miss cosi, sorta. i'll miss my regulars, sorta. i'll totally miss my friends who come in for sure. and i'll miss my co-workers for sure. but man oh man i cannot wait to go home and spend some t-i-m-e with my family. so for those of you who i don't see before i leave... um, i'll just, ya know, see you soon. i'm not moving for pete's sake. think of pete!
tonight at work was suuuuper busy. stupid busy, i would say. vincent and i just kept running around, laughing and saying how we didn't know what was going on. because we didn't. after 5, we turn into a sit-down/"real" restaurant. ha. joke and a half. it's only a fake real restaurant. we don't have an actual host. we don't have sections. we barely have a waitstaff. so when things go a little crazy, then things get a little confusing. when things go really crazy, ay yi. tonight, i had no idea who my tables were, what the table numbers were, or what tab was open and what wasn't. i just waited for mario to yell out, "katie! order up!" and then i'd just sort of remember who had ordered it and then i brought it to whose table i guessed it was. because i sure as hell didn't remember what tables were even mine let alone if they'd gotten their food yet or not. and by the time things were really swinging, i just took whatever table hadn't been gotten to yet. the question, "is that your table?" was completely irrelevant. i sat 2 women, and then couldn't remember if i was waiting on them or not. it turns out i kinda stole them from vincent. oops.
and then i ran my checkout at the end of the night without putting in a $5 tip, which means there wasn't any way for me to get that money since my checkout was done. i spent the next 20 minutes saying "fuck" quite, quite loudly. i believe there was feet stomping, i'm not positive.
love, kate
for those who didn't hear us the first time...
NOTE: i don't know who is telling what to who, but i am here to say that "kissing on the mouth" is nothing but an attempt for 4 people who love filmmaking to create something that is new and artistic and most certainly professional. it contains sex, but what doesn't. sex is a byline to the main story, and is most certainly not the main topic. it's a film about 20somethings and life after college and relationships. joe is a professional director, kevin a professional DP, me a professional actor, and kris a professional co-director. we're not some kids goofing around, making out with people on tape. we're college grads trying to do something with our degree. please respect our artistic attempt and stop degrading a project that we are all taking seriously and trying to make into something good and new.
kate.
it's official.
i mean, honestly.
the other night, the 21st, was the denali/
cursive show. shannon and i meet andy and his sister outside the metro, ready to rock and ready to see denali. i'm extra excited to see cursive since i'd never seen them play before.
"denali isn't here."
say what? the next 10 minutes are sort of a blur. shannon has a huge crush on cam, so i spent most of my time calming her down. she was really excited to see him. it was okay. it'll be okay.
so we go in anyway. the first band was pretty decent. i couldn't really see the drummer, but the two guitar players were smokin hot as was their girl bass player. the second band, pelican, sucked something fierce. good attempt, i heard/saw what they were trying to do, but they were too deftones-ish (andy referenced the melvins) and too 1994ish for me.
cursive rocked hard. they renewed my faith in rock shows. they made me remember how awesome it is to be in a crowd that is also rocking hard to the hard rocking. it was great. then the recent news update about the life and times (see my links!!). rock shows are coming back to me. i'll be okay.
but that little twinge in the back of my head about denali was making me nervous. and then it all made sense. their not being at the show. what that guy who was standing next to us outside said. what my instinct was telling me.
denali.
kate
i really will sing in your band.
houston.
they broke up. agh. another one! in true indie rock style, houston split up. fuck.
this makes me think. normally, i listen to music while i blog. ...and while i do anything in my room. or anywhere. but this is important. i'm turning it off.
it starts with shiner. see the life and times in my links. allen i love you. anyway. shiner's last show in KC was indescribable. they were and are my all-time favorite band and it's an understatement (this whole post is an understatement) to say i have nothing but good memories of shiner and the rock they've given me. at their last show, i had only this crappy kodak disposable camera and most of the pictures i took were utter shit, the flash highlighted the smokey air and not the band. the viewfinder was off. many of the pictures were me putting my hand up in the air and clicking the button. but i didn't care, because it was more important it to me to be surrounded by shiner fans rocking out and loving every second of the most incredible show of our lives and remembering that feeling than it was to be lugging around my nice camera and having to focus and worry about where my lens cap was. and the picture that mattered most- the one of me and allen- turned out beautifully. so who gives a shit?
my ears screamed for the next two days. the feeling i had during that show was beyond euphoric. it was so loud that the pumping from the amps beat my heart for me.
houston played for shiner at that show.
i had seen houston a handful of times before but never paid any attention to them because i only cared about shiner. that and i was watching out for allen around the bar hoping he'd walk past me. so the first time i saw houston, and was there strictly for houston, i loved it. and them. they were the second rock show i ever saw in chicago and they kicked the hardest ass. everyone agreed it was a great show. i was drunk as hell. $2 pbr at the double door. yow. but it was so much fun! i think i played air drums. wait. yeah, i did. i sang really loud, that i do know. everyone fucking did. goddamn that show was great.
anyway, then there was a lull of rock shows. the holidays were upon us. a lot of bands went off to record and write new stuff or work with other projects. understandable. i forgave them. all of them. then, perhaps some of you remember, the whole "but i love rock shows... right?" blog. i didn't go to the first houston show in a long time. and, of course, it was supposed to have been one of their best shows ever. oh, and- little side note here- what ended up being one of their lasts shows ever. that's cool.
so now i have to look forward to their last show in minneapolis. which i'm exctied about. seeing shiner play in their homeland of KC is partly why it was so great. and also partly the reason i want to move there. (what can i say?) so june 26th here i come. work or no, my priority is being where i need to be when i need to be there. i need houston and i need this last drop of rock. because who else is there? houston was the next shiner. the life and times has pretty much disappeared, what with their new bass player commuting to and from st. louis. did they ever even get a new drummer? and fire of 1666 what? where the hell were they ever?
so maybe this is all for the best. i'm growing up and not getting to as many shows as i'd like to anyway. maybe the rock part of my life, as far as going to shows goes, is coming to a close. it's okay though. i will never forget how the last shiner show made me feel. it's enough to keep me going until i'm dead. i don't expect houston to be the same, but i know it will be good. i guess that's the whole point. this is the worst description of what it all means to me, but i can't do any better.
fucking hell i love rock.
love, kate
typing my decision.
what is it like to be rich and/or married? these are two things i'd like to find out the answer to.
love, kate
it's 80 degrees and sunny.
chicago and it's warm. i walked around in a short sleeved t-shirt on the way home from work. it makes me happy that it's so warm out. as we all know, the cold is part of the reason i don't want to be here for another winter. that fucking wind. the windows are open now and i'm wearing shorts to bed.
i don't have anything to say other than i'm glad it's warm out. i have a lot that i want to say, but i don't know how. soon it will be unbearably hot and i'll have to walk to work and be sweating my ass off when i get there. tourists will be everywhere, much like they were today. the art kids that i hate so much won't come in anymore because they'll all be home for the summer. and that makes me sad, surprisingly.
as excited i am for the summer, a lot of people are going to be leaving me. i'm getting my mom's car, and i feel like i want to just get in it and drive it out of this city. i don't want to work at cosi this summer. i want to just drive and drive. i want to see betty and i want to see mel.
"i think i'd be lying if i said i don't enjoy this. waking up soaked in sweat, wondering who you're lying with."
ok so the last part of that line doesn't make much sense, but it's a good fucking song. i don't feel like making much sense right now anyway.
10 more seconds, is all i ask.
love, kate
it makes me that more scared.
my friend joe had a rough week. one of his friends died. i had only met greg a couple times, but he was nice. i liked his ears. anyway, it made me scared of how fragile everything is. when kris told me what happened, i wanted to call everyone and make sure they were okay. i wanted to drive to collinsville and make my brothers crouch in a hole with me where i could just hold onto them for the rest of my life. i don't like when things like this happen. it makes no sense to me. i barely even knew greg, but it makes my stomach hurt to think about it. my whole entire heart goes out to joe. it doesn't do justice to write this and think only about joe, but joe is the only person, besides kris, that i know that really knew greg. so i'm going to give my heart to joe this week and hope that he will be alright and okay. i hope this isn't bad that i wrote this.
love always, kate
the reason i will always love skip.
hey I read your blog and I think Louis Armstrong said it best when he said
" What good is sittin' alone in your room
Come hear the music play, yes
Life is a cabaret old chum
Come to the cabaret
Put down that knittin', the book and the broom
Time for a holiday, yes
Life is a cabaret old chum
So come to the cabaret
Come taste the wine, come hear that band
Yes, it's time for celebratin'
Right this way, your table's waitin'"
i'm old again.
i'm not going into work until 12 today, and it feels so weird. i mean, i'm actually up and awake and just sitting around in my pajamas until i have to really start getting dressed and stuff. but now i have to stay until late, and i hate staying after 5. eh.
i had a dream last night that someone went through the line next to mine at work and he was wearing an
engine down shirt. something like that. it may have been a band that wasn't even real, but i don't know. anyway i kept trying to get his attention or tell people to look at his shirt and no one could hear me. i must have said the name of the band a million times, but no one would look and no one cared. i've been thinking a lot about rock shows. i never go to them anymore. less and less do i look at all my bands' websites to see when they're coming to town.
denali is coming mid-april, and i'm totally going to that one. but otherwise whenever little bands come through, like
darediablo or even my if my friend's band
grinner plays, i never make it out. there's usually no one to go with and i don't feel very safe taking the train by myself so late at night. there's venues all over the place in chicago. none are as good as my seedy
rocket bar, but oh well.
anyway, it makes me feel old knowing i don't do something i love anymore. i don't have the time or money or the energy. i have to wake up for work at 4:30 sometimes. it makes me sad about rock shows. because i really love them and i really fucking miss them.
sigh, kate
in your life you can't live without...
once again, another ambiguous title. i should start a contest and see if anyone can guess what song it's from.
it was so nice outside today. the fact that chicago is still windy and cold is (slightly) made up for by the fact that it's really sunny outside. and daylight savings means that it stays lighter later. this is something i can live with.
someone from st. louis came up to visit me this weekend. it was great to sort of "talk shop" with him. he went to siue, too, and so we would talk about old instructors, but we also talked about the past summer and stuff that happened. it was nice to talk to someone about people that no one else knew, like it was ours to have.
i don't have anything interesting to say really. just that it was nice to remember st. louis with someone. and that it's sunny out. and it's getting harder to make a decision about whether or not i should stay.
love, kate
i know how to count.
it only just occurred to me to write about this. it happened last week sometime. probably on tuesday or wednesday. i was in an okay mood for having gotten up at 6. and i was being pleasant to my customers for once instead of just indifferent. then the lady came up. you've seen those old women who look like they should be on a cruise with their straw hats with loud scarves on them, big sunglasses, huge earrings? know who i'm talking about? well, this lady was one of them and she was old and she was a fucking bitch. she was foreign too, i don't know if that mattered, and she also had terrible painted on eyebrows.
she had a cookie in her hand, and all i said was, "hi what are you having?" man, i was so nice about it. and she just yells and goes, "give me a minute to get out my money! i'm not going to just sit here with my money like this! [makes a huge waving motion like she's throwing stuff around] give me a chance to get out my money!!" jesus. i was pissed but i didn't say anything. by the time the jerk got out her money and i had given her a bag, my voice was shaking when i said, "thanks you have a
really great day." so she's goes and sits down. and i get on with my stupid morning. she handed me $2.00 to pay the $1.96 the cookie cost. she got 4 cents change.
fifteen minutes later. i hear her telling ej that i gave her the wrong change. she won't listen to ej and is ignoring the fact that he's trying to make drinks for 5 people that are standing waiting. she just kept saying the same thing over and over. and so did he. "ma'am, i have to go count her drawer to make sure. please just wait while i finish this." she didn't listen. eventually she walks up to my register and in the meantime is telling everyone around her how i screwed up. and she's laughing about it, like "isn't she an idiot?" so she comes up saying i gave her $15.65 out of a $20 bill. i say, "you gave me $2 so i gave you 4 cents." but she own't listen and i'm pissed and she keeps saying, "i know what's in my purse!" in her stupid accent.
ej and i count my drawer down. i'm 2 cents off. which means i gave her the right change. we come back out and i want so bad to be the one to tell her she sucks and i'm right. but a manager has to do it. i go back to my register and my hands are shaking so bad that i can't think. why are people like this? why do they think they can ask anything of anyone? well anyway, ej tries to explain to her what happened and she starts yelling and telling him he's wrong and that's there's "something fishy with your girls." he must have argued with her for 10 minutes. and she was loud. i turn to john, our GM, at one point and ask, "uh, you wanna go help out your boy over there?" to which john laughed and was like, "nah i'll let him take it." ej is... kinda lazy. so he can do some work once in a while, is what john is really saying. finally she leaves, but not before, according to ej, she stood at the front window flicking us all off.
the best part was when john asked ej, "hey man, want me to leave with you after work?" and some customers laughed. she was so terrible.
so go ahead and treat people at restaurants like shit. because we always forget about it and don't make fun of you after you leave.
love, kate.
